THE LOVE
PARADE
Attitude, Stonewall and a few of our friends want your help so we
can stamp out homophobic bullying
MARK FEEHILY
Singer with multi-million selling group Westlife
So why have you decided to be part of this?
I think no gay man can say that he didn't have his own experience of
coming to terms with his sexuality and it isn't always easy at school, which
is an understatement. I 100% want to help abolish homophobic bullying in schools,
if that's possible.
Did you get bullied?
I was chubby through my high school years so got bullied for that.
I think it's not just individual bullying, it's the way that kids in classrooms
speak about homosexuality and the way they use the word gay to mean bad - gay
trainers, a gay jacket they don't like - that needs to be tackled. There can
be a kid listening to that and gauging what his mates think. Hearing his mates
talking about it in a derogatory way is not going to help him come to terms
with his sexuality. The funny thing is you can have three or four gay lads in
your class but at school no one will ever even adress the possibility, everyone's
pertified.
So we did this cover shoot on the Thursday and then news broke on the
Saturday about a young man in Liverpool...
Oh yeah, that was so fucking crazy. The kid (Michael Causer) got killed, didn't
he? Fucking horrific... I was out of the country and I didn't hear about it
at first...
No one did, it hasn't been big news nationally at all... which is almost
just as shocking to me...
It's absolutely ludicrous. I can't even describe how that makes me feel... You
know, I'm gay too and that could happen to me, or to any of us. I don't know
the ins and outs of it but it engrages me. Something I've realised is that things
don't change until people get up and do something about it. There's no point
sitting around just talking about this unless people actually get up and physically
do something about it because it will just stay the same. We have to make a
change, otherwise all these massively unjust things will go on about us all
the time. It's so important gay people challenge all these things just like
it is when people pick on people because of their colour, where they come from,
what they look like. We need to make these issues just as important as those
issues, you know.
How old were you when you realised when you were gay?
There wasn't a light bulb moment; it was a gradual thing when my feelings seemed
to go in a different direction from all my friends. During adolescence, at high
school I started realising.
Did you have any role models?
It was people like Michael Jackson, Stevie Wonder and Mariah Carey. Music was
my thing. There was definitely an emptiness and sadness within me through adolescence
because I couldn't deal with my sexuality and music was one of the way I escaped,
without a doubt.
Who did you first come out to?
Well Westlife happened in a fairytale way so that kind of almost slammed me
back into the closet. Everything's so hyped and sensetionalised, and it puts
so much more emphasis on things when you become famous so it held me down for
a while and it took me a while to come to terms with it. I wanted to be comfortable
with my own skin before coming out publicly. Then I met Kevin and I thought
I can either stay indoors with him or come out. I was ready then as well. And
that's the whole point and one of the reasons why I'm totally glad to get involved
with this, is that it's about getting to the point where you don't care about
people knowing you are gay. It's the most important thing in any gay person's
life and all this bullying stops and hinders a gay lad or girl from getting
to that point. It needs to stop now, it's so unhealthy and so wrong.
Are you glad you came out?
It's the best thing I've ever done in my life. It outshines and overshadows
everything else. Everyone says I look so much happier. The change from within
me has been so immense, it's the most positive thing I have ever done and will
ever do. I've uncovered the rest of me... I was only half a person before. It's
the smallest thing and it's the biggest thing in the world, if that makes sense.
We have Stonewall in the UK and GLEN (Gay And Lesbian Equality Network)
in the Republic of Ireland. I know you've been speaking to them about this,
how are they getting on?
GLEN in Ireland is so important. I'm gradually getting to know more and more
about the stuff that they do. The girl I was speaking to there was saying they
are doing similar things to battle homophobic bullying but in Ireland a lot
more of the schools are religious which is one of their bigger problems. With
public schools the government can control what goes on, but in Ireland a lot
of schools are run by religion and have get out clauses when it comes to talking
about homosexuality.
At the shoot, it struck me the way that Ian paved the way for you guys to be
out... What was it like meeting him?
I've always been a fan of his. I didn't even know he was gay until a while back
when I read it in an interview and so I've read up on him. I admire him so much
for all the things he has done for gay people. On the photoshoot he had such
an aura about him. He made me comfortable and engaged all of us. He's just a
very calming, funny, great man. I hope I meet him again.
What would you say to any kids reading this who are getting bullied?
I'd say that they have to understand that even if they think that this part
of their life will never change, that's not true. Things won't always be the
way they are now. If there are kids out there now feeling alone and feeling
scared and annoyed, I just feel so... I just really hate thinking about it...
it kills me to think of them sitting in their bedrooms feeling alone and depressed
and low about things. All I can say is get through it, get to the place in your
head where you can come out. That's so easily said, I'm 28 and I've done it
but it's true. It's so important that people around these kids are educated
and that homophobia is tackled. People need to realise that a throwaway remark
at school will stab certain members of the class in the heart. Some people have
it more difficult than others and some people have it easier, but I just feel
for all the people out there because I used to be one of them. I used to sit
in my bedroom feeling very alone even though I was surrounded by people that
loved me, I didn't want to talk to anybody about it.
I think sometimes the gay media has a lot to answer for. I think when
you are young and you want to come out and find a nice boyfriend and there's
something about gay culture that makes it look like you can't do that, that
all we do is have sex. You and Kevin are a young, happy couple and that can
only be a positive thing for people to see.
A lot of the time in the media gay people are portrayed as being by themselves.
I like that me and Kevin spend loads of time with our family, our grandparents
love us to bits and we're very much together as a couple and have all our friends
and family around us all the time. I'm scared if we put a foot out of place
then people will want to see us fall but all we can do is live our lives. But
gay people have ups and downs in their life like anyone else. Anytime a normal
thing happens to someone in the public eye, it shows that gay people are just
like staight people really. I think that's another reason everyone needs to
back these campaignes, to show people we are here.
Credit/Source: Attitude Magazine / Thanks Jacqui for the
scans
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